My Tiny Exhibitionist

I just had to say to my daughter, "No, no, panties stay ON. You cannot go without panties. You are not Britney Spears."

She's figured out how to take off her clothes and now, how to take off her diaper. She's also been climbing on the hood of her Power Wheels Ferrari and sliding down.

How long before she ends up on a calendar in a muffler shop, do you think?

Oh yeah. She just put a diaper in my lap.

Off to look for the puddle.

A Further Thought on The Snake I Can't Un-see

I don't buy any of that shit about snakes being more afraid of us than we are of them. No way. Snakes know they're badass. You know they do.

Also, in an only slightly related note, it seems like the right time to preach my warning about people who keep rats or snakes as pets. Unless said people are 15 year old boy anyone with a pet snake (or rat) is not healthy or in your best interest.

You know I'm right. Go ahead. Test the theory. Either one.

I'll wait.

DeVirginized

It happened. Remember, in this post when I told you that I didn't care if Florida had snakes, I just cared never to see them?

Well, I saw one. And then I nearly stepped on it's brother. I still have the creeps. Oh yeah, there goes another giant shiver.

So, I'm at a charming little cafe on the avenue with my buddy Melanie and all our respective kids, when the lady at the next table says, "oooh, look at the snake!". And because you have to look up when someone says that sort of thing (what if it's headed at me with it's mouth open?), I did. And I saw the stupid snake. And the image is forever burned in to my brain, bound to return in nightmares and unexpected shivers for decades to come. I'm not even sure I'll be able to wear snakeskin shoes anymore (Wait. Wait. Yes I can). Stupid woman and her "ooh, a snake!" Five years in Florida and I'm undone by a Jersey transplant in polyester who couldn't keep her mouth shut. And I was at a cafe! In a shopping plaza! At the beach! What the hell? I've avoided the everglades for five years, I stay clear of all unmanicured nature and Cayce thinks our driveway is our lawn. By all rights I should not have seen that snake. But I have, and now I can't unsee it. As Erin put it, I've popped my snake cherry. And now I can't go back.

Oh yeah, and THEN we're headed toward the parking lot (I'm still pale and shaking, no doubt) and Melanie says, "Oh, go down these steps, there's a snake on the other set." Cool as a cucumber (Mel is a native Floridian. This was undoubtedly not her first snake)(but I'd like to see her reaction to a snowstorm, thanks). I made some sort of horrified squawking sound and she said, "Oh, it's just a black racer, it's fine." I squawked again, something incomprehensible, and tried to be cool, because apparently Mel isn't just a native Florida girl, she's a freaking herpatologist. Urrrgh. Snakes.

We went back to that little cafe for breakfast this morning and if I had wellington boots, a croc hunter cap and a rifle, I'd have worn them. Instead I settled for hyper vigilance and a seat indoors.

I'll get used to this. It's just going to take a looooooong time. And maybe some new snakeskin boots.

Cultural Anthropology 4

Guess what Scott was watching last night? I'll give you a hint- I saw crack AND wife beaters in BOTH senses of the words. That's right! It was Cops night at our house. Ring a ding ding. Last night's episode was titled, "Stupid Criminal Behavior 4" and Scott was very upset to learn that he'd missed Stupid Criminal Behavior episodes 1-3. I just wanted to know when the episode on Smart Criminal Behavior was set to air. I'm not holding my breath.

And to add another layer of flavor, when the COPS! ("look! There they are! COPS!") busted down the door of a meth house, Scott was quick to point out the stack of Twilight series books under the perp's dining room table. I guess it really is everywhere.

(Twilight on Meth- I bet that kid read the whole series in an hour flat)

Cayce, Cayce, Sour Cream

Today I was singing to the baby and she took her pacifier out and stuck it in my mouth. For someone without a lot of words she certainly is an effective communicator. (Though I was singing O Holy Night at the time. Perhaps she's like her father and is just putting her foot down on Christmas music before Thanksgiving?)

And hey, remember when I used to sing her the Daisy Sour Cream jingle when she was a newborn because I couldn't remember any nursery rhymes? (TLC used to air the Daisy commercial every day during "A Baby Story") Yeah, well she loves that song. It's one of her favorites.

So there.

Cayce, Cayce Sour Cream
You're Fresh and Tasty, Naturally
A Kiss for you and a cuddle for me
Cayce completes our family so
Do a dollop, do- do a dollop of Cayce
Family is better with a cuddle from Cayyyyyyceeeee!

(By the way? This video had nearly 13,000 views. Really?)

Ain't She Sweet?

My little girl.

Daddy was right- the new camera really is worth it.

Okay, So...

I do have a million things on my mind, all of which I will blog about soon. But not today.

How's that for a waste of type?

But in better news, I am challenging myself to a blog-a-thon. Posting something every day. So...I guess this counts for today?

Suckas.

See you folks tomorrow! (those who still read me. Which...good for you. Persistence. I admire that.)